Thursday, January 8, 2015

At peace with myself

I am the type of person who thinks a lot. I can go deep into my thoughts even when im surrounded by a crowd of people. Sometimes my thoughts travel back in time and for a few moments I am consumed by my past, wrong decisions, mistakes I made mostly relationship wise.

I love easily and completely. Before I got married I tried hard to turn into a jaded, bitter, angry woman. I tried to put up walls to protect my heart from further disappointment, from falling for the ‘wrong guy’. Eventually the walls I put up blocked out the one who loves me most. God.  I am thankful that with time those walls came crumbling down, and eventually I was able to love and trust again.

At this point in my life I am no longer afraid to think about my past, yes I gave my heart to the wrong people time and time again and I have the scars to prove it. However they no longer cause me shame. I wear them with pride, they serve as a reminder of the lessons I learned and a celebration of how far I have come and how much I have grown.

Finally, I am at peace with myself, I love and I am loved. Deeply. I look forward to each day with an overwhelming feeling of peace and joy. I am blessed.

Isaiah 43:19
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

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